How beautiful is this piece. The photos are gold! And your daughter is a sweetheart.
This obsession with fairness, chikna limbs, and with other people's bodies (if the baby is thin it is a problem, if the baby is chubby that is a problem) is fucking annoying. I have seen how my in-laws behave with others kids (comments and overcompensating (for god alone knows what)) and this is so so typical.
Thank you Savvy! At some point, the dialogue needs to change course. Or else we will continue to remain caught in this never-ending cycle of trying to be someone else in order to please someone else.
I love this piece so much. I am a brown-skinned girl/woman and my mother is very fair, light-eyed, beautiful. I said those same things without the beauty and grace of your incredible responses. Your writing is wonderful.
OMG! You just nailed it! And I am sure every woman, girl would relate to this sooo much! I am glad that I don’t live in India precisely for this reason, though living abroad has its own set of challenges. Thank you so much for writing this and sharing this! ❤️❤️
Beautifully written.. loved reading it.. it's really amazing how people offer free advice, wether asked for or not..we should tell them 'take your nose back out of my life'
God, this hurt! I knew this was going to be relatable but didn't know how much I would relate to it. From being that girl who had to deal with 'well-meaning' relatives dishing out 'grooming' tips to facing that "lag raha hai abhi bhi bachcha andar hai tmhare pait mein..." and then to have a girl who told me once, "Mamma, I wish I had fair skin like the Arabs"... on top of having aunties recommend grooming my months old baby so she can get lighter and less hairier! I hate how people see females as public commodities - jiske jo dil mein aaye bako :( Im so glad you wrote this, Samira. Thank you!
Wonderfully written. I was drawn in from the first line, and continued to nod my head to it throughout. Thank you for sharing. My daughter turned one a a couple months ago, and I wish I could protect her from the nosy opinions of relatives, too, but like you, I can only show her how she's beautiful just as she is.
Thank you Tiffany! The world will continue to advise. All we can do is arm our kids with enough love and empathy so that they can stand up for themselves without doubt or fear.
As she got ready for school, a 10-year-old girl refused any breakfast except a cup of milk. With the backpack on and the bottle clutched, she was about to leave for school when her mother called. She frowned when a white paste out of a pink tube was plastered on her face. Off she went then.
Aah I finally read this ! I had seen it on my feed and i was sooo eager to read about the little girl facing these challenges now, given that I knew her mommy would fix it . It moves me soouch to see how we fix the wrongs that we go through by being the sheild or support for another. Samira much love to both of you.
This made me cry a bit. That conversation with your daughter and how you navigated it as a parent was really heartwarming to be part of as a reader Samira.
So love this
How beautiful is this piece. The photos are gold! And your daughter is a sweetheart.
This obsession with fairness, chikna limbs, and with other people's bodies (if the baby is thin it is a problem, if the baby is chubby that is a problem) is fucking annoying. I have seen how my in-laws behave with others kids (comments and overcompensating (for god alone knows what)) and this is so so typical.
Well done you!
Thank you Savvy! At some point, the dialogue needs to change course. Or else we will continue to remain caught in this never-ending cycle of trying to be someone else in order to please someone else.
Such a beautiful interaction and essay! Thank you ❤️
Thank you Ila!
This! This was so so needed! Every girl needs to read this! Thanks so much for sharing this! Hard resonate with every single word of this write up!
Thank you 😊 it's so heartening to read comments like this - and know that your writing resonated with someone.
When I read essays like this, I miss not having a daughter…thank you for writing this Samira.
Thank you Rituparna 💛
Your writing always packs a punch. But you write soo well that it is like a punch that comes gift-wrapped!😊🩵🩵 What an essay!
Thank you Alaknanada!
Samira, Another amazing piece. That line about the small intestine, I will remember that.
And the pictures are so so adorable.
Thank you Sanket!
I love this piece so much. I am a brown-skinned girl/woman and my mother is very fair, light-eyed, beautiful. I said those same things without the beauty and grace of your incredible responses. Your writing is wonderful.
Thank you Stephanie! I'm cheering on every girl and woman who has been shamed for being herself.
OMG! You just nailed it! And I am sure every woman, girl would relate to this sooo much! I am glad that I don’t live in India precisely for this reason, though living abroad has its own set of challenges. Thank you so much for writing this and sharing this! ❤️❤️
Thank you Harry :) I suppose every country will have it's own set of rules for women - some more than the other.
Beautifully written.. loved reading it.. it's really amazing how people offer free advice, wether asked for or not..we should tell them 'take your nose back out of my life'
Thank you Arzoo. Glad you enjoyed reading it :)
God, this hurt! I knew this was going to be relatable but didn't know how much I would relate to it. From being that girl who had to deal with 'well-meaning' relatives dishing out 'grooming' tips to facing that "lag raha hai abhi bhi bachcha andar hai tmhare pait mein..." and then to have a girl who told me once, "Mamma, I wish I had fair skin like the Arabs"... on top of having aunties recommend grooming my months old baby so she can get lighter and less hairier! I hate how people see females as public commodities - jiske jo dil mein aaye bako :( Im so glad you wrote this, Samira. Thank you!
Wonderfully written. I was drawn in from the first line, and continued to nod my head to it throughout. Thank you for sharing. My daughter turned one a a couple months ago, and I wish I could protect her from the nosy opinions of relatives, too, but like you, I can only show her how she's beautiful just as she is.
Thank you Tiffany! The world will continue to advise. All we can do is arm our kids with enough love and empathy so that they can stand up for themselves without doubt or fear.
As she got ready for school, a 10-year-old girl refused any breakfast except a cup of milk. With the backpack on and the bottle clutched, she was about to leave for school when her mother called. She frowned when a white paste out of a pink tube was plastered on her face. Off she went then.
That was yesterday.
She is my little sister.
Thank you for sharing Maynk. I hope that we can slowly begin to change the narrative on how we view beauty.
Aah I finally read this ! I had seen it on my feed and i was sooo eager to read about the little girl facing these challenges now, given that I knew her mommy would fix it . It moves me soouch to see how we fix the wrongs that we go through by being the sheild or support for another. Samira much love to both of you.
Thank you Roshni. I will probably make my own my on mistakes and hear about them from my daughter when she grows up!
Thank you for breaking the cycle of intergenerational shame 💜 it’s what every child deserves, but so few are lucky enough.
Thank you Anagha!
This made me cry a bit. That conversation with your daughter and how you navigated it as a parent was really heartwarming to be part of as a reader Samira.
Thank you Abhishek! Glad you enjoyed the essay :)