23 / Dichotomy
I am always two things at the same time
A woman’s face must never reveal what she feels.
This subtle art is passed down from mother to daughter when she comes of age. Expressions take on a different meaning, and a pleasant countenance must always be maintained.
Who wants to talk to an angry woman? She is dismissed immediately because she is too volatile. Who wants to deal with women who are too emotional? Their sensitivity makes it difficult to talk to them. And no one wants a woman who will tell you like it is. Her directness causes discomfort.
Women who wear their emotions openly are analysed, scrutinised, categorised and generally disliked. Like the host at a party who looks anxious and does not smile enough. Or the aunt who questions everything, dismissing men and women alike. Or the young girl who dates openly and is not ashamed of it. Or the teenager who sulks at parties, answering in monosyllables.
We don’t like extremes - too happy, too sad, too angry, too giggly - it’s all too much. We are meant to exist in moderation. Anything else makes others uncomfortable. Because we are taught to keep what we feel inside and never let it show. Because a woman’s job is to remain calm, collected and pleasant at all times. Any other kind of behaviour is unacceptable.
If you have tried to fight it, as I have, you know that you have been slotted into a category. The woman who is ‘difficult’ to work with. The friend who is ‘brutally honest.’ The girlfriend who is ‘too free’ for her own good. The wife who is ‘too lazy’ to look after guests. The daughter who has not been ‘brought up’ properly.
You can’t win here. But you can split into two.
The face that you show everyone. And the face that hides beneath.
This series was shot using multiple exposure.
Naqab (Mask) explores the many masks I wear as an Indian woman. It is my attempt to unravel, and discover my deep-seated conditioning, biases, strengths and weaknesses, one portrait at a time.
The project will span a year, with one portrait every week.
Head here for the entire series.
If you liked this project, please consider sharing or recommending my publication. It would immensely help a new writer like me reach a wider audience.
I would love to hear from you! Drop in a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Love the writing of tattoo holding your back
Every word relatable. And the photographs are a work of art Samira. Well done!!